Anyway, I was at the movie theatre trying to do my normal activities, you know, watching a movie, eating popcorn, rubbing one out with a belt around my neck, drinking a carbonated beverage, and basking in the lovely and fantastic taste that are “Raisinettes”. Mmmmmm, but anyway while I was doing my thang I was interrupted by these two dudes behind me. They kept making comments and acting like they owned the theatre. I finally let the belt loose from around my neck and turned to confront them. To my astonishment it was Ferris Bueller and that one dude.

I was like, “Listen Ferris, you and Billy are going to have to quit mouthing off and let me ejaculate like a normal everyday dude with a belt around his neck and a wrench gripping his manhood.” He apologized and said they didn’t mean to interrupt, but then the other dude was like, “Yeah, we are sorry but my name is not Billy. I think you have me confused with my brother who is famous too, just not as famous”. Since they were being cool about it I decided to be cool too, so I was like “You have a good day then Ferris, and you too Keenan Ivory”.

For some odd reason he got wicked ticked and it was on like Donkey Kong. He screamed and yelled that he was Alec Baldwin and he answered to no man. Luckily for me I am not a man, I am a Golden God so I trashed him with all of the power I had left in my left thumb, and then stole all of the pictures he had of Kim Bassinger naked. I took them to the car and put the belt back on for the grand finale. Woo, it was sweet.