Jack
2003-12-31 | 8:13 a.m.
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I had a lunch planned with my friend of many years, Jack, yesterday. When I got there all seemed normal, he ordered 3 lunches for himself, smoked a pack of whatever it was he had in the little package, and drank about a half gallon of Rum. Then the food arrived and he ate it all and turned to me and said, "Leon, I am so dissapointed." I am 100 years old and some women still find me attractive, but not all of them. What can I do to be as awesome as you?" I tried to console the man, but I couldn't. I then explained to him that if he lost 150 pounds, shaved off the Steel Wool on his back and chest, got 3 face lifts and a year of Botox, that he still wouldn't be close. He was crushed, and so was his swizzel stick girlfriend. It was sad for them to find out he could never be as attractive as me, but I felt pretty good.
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3 People Wish They Were As Awesome As Leon!
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