She said I needed to help get us home. So of course I took my shirt off and tried to wave down some truckers to give us a ride. After 2 passed Nicole decided to do the same. Unfortunately when she lifted her shirt the glare from her platinum white stomach blinded the truck driver, or as I call him, the Gauze. He had to take his eyes off his jean jacket and masturbation and concentrate on the road, and it did not work. It was terrible, and after 15 minutes of laughing I really felt bad for some of those people involved in the multi-car pileup.

After that I stole a gas can from one of the burning cars and we made our way home. Nicole said she was going back with her ex, and I said fine. Go back with him but remember the fact that he is what is referred to on the street as a "Homosexual", and by that I mean Gaybob. She got mad and called me a jerk, so I called her Casper. She thought I was attempting to reconcile, and she said "Do you mean Casper the friendly Ghost?" And I said, "No, bitch. I mean Casper the friendly neighborhood transvestite Crack Whore. You know Casper, he's Willie's brother that stands on the corner by the gas station singing the same 3 lines of the Star Spangled Banner while wearing an evening gown and white gloves. Now get out of here you white devil." She left of her own accord. It was pretty cool. And now I don't have to wear sunglasses to bed since she isn't there to burn my retinas. Yeah.