I was waiting for my part in the show to come up. I was in my place chewing on an old rope when I get my call to get in place. I wasn't terribly happy, but who is when they have to go to work ? Anyway as soon as they lift the sheet and expose me to the world some idiot takes a picture with the flash on.

I was in a bad mood anyway so I pounce on the first thing I see like Star Jones on a day old Twinkie in the green room at the greatest daily news program in the world from the Estrogen point of view, "The View." Anyway I attack and unleash my ferocity for 14 seconds until I realize where my victim has been and I decide to go back stage and brush my teeth with bleach and Drano.

To make a long story longer, I was released from my duties at the show, and the dudes leave me alone now. It was well worth the quarantine, but I am still waiting for one of my tests to come out positive for some exotic type of Herpes or some kind of Rain Forest Rash. I should have picked one of the people in the audience to maul.