Well this chick got all mad because my wang rubbed up against her. It's not my fault, she had a restraining order against me before this incident anyway. It clearly stated that I was not allowed within 10 feet of her, but I was more than 10 feet away. It's not my fault the wang violated the order. So anyway I just quit and came home.

This skank decided she would sue me, so I got a lawyer of my own. Yeah, me and my world famous lawyer, Mr. Johnnie Cockring, are counter suing for 50 bucks and two large french fries from The Waffle House. Not 2 orders of fries, just 2 french fries, that will teach those yuppies. Yeah, that name may sound familiar, my lawyer is world famous because he used to be a famous actor before he became known for Lawyering it up. He was in a bunch of movies that he named off, there was American Booty, and there were some plays he said he did "Way off Broadway". There was some Shakespeare, "The Taming of the Screw". But he said his favorite part would have to be Dickens, "A Tale of Two Titties."

There is no way we can lose.