Anyway, I don't have many friends because everyone is intimidated by my awesomeness. Every time I try to get "Close" to a lady they pass out as soon as I de-shirt. I can't play sports anymore because the last time I played one on one basketball Mikey Boy Jordan quit and walked off the court becasue I was winning 1,289 to 0. The last time I sparred with Ali after I hit him once he just stood there drooling and stuttering, or was it before I hit him that he did that ? I can't remember. Either way he was screwed up.

My friend was very understanding. He said he had similar problems. Every time he tries to get "Close" to a lady they scream like a 13 year old girl at a Lyle Lovitt concert. After we both got our feelings out there we felt much better. We made Sour Cream and Onion Floats with fudge rounds and Jalapeno bean dip. It was great, after I ate, then vomited, we enjoyed a game of horseshoes in the living room. It was sweet.