Anyway, he threw as many punches and kicks as Michael Jackson throws nude slumber parties. But fortunately I blocked them all and then decided to stop playing defense and went on the offensive. I grabed his foot and held him up while I caught my breath then rained blows upon him, and by blows I mean urine, until he was nearly drowning in self pity.

After his defeat he introduces himself as a Chinese foreign exchange student who was nicknamed "Wiggity Wang" by his new college friends. They have been sending him on little missions and this one involves finding the gayest looking woman and stealing her purse. The next mission involves Wang pushing Heroine to pre-schoolers at a local Head Start.

This is my first attempt at writing, directing, starring, and producing my own movie. I think the story is beleivable, don't you ?