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I'm a lush
2004-04-22 | 8:23 a.m.

So I had an odd moment last night. I was in the bar, hanging out because I am such a lush when my boy Nick came running in. He just got off the set of his newest movie, "Captain Coppola's Ukelele". It's a pretty bad movie where he plays an aging actor playing a part in a war movie while trying to cling to his hair, a younger and much better looking woman, and his coolness which left him years before.

He was pretty happy to see me and the first thing he exclaimed was, "Leon, how is your gallbladder?" Then he decided to see for himself and take a listen since he flunked out of medical school after 37 minutes. We talked for a while during which he drank feverishly and kept asking the patrons if any had some "Rock" with them. Finally he went into the bathroom with an older homeless man named Olive Loaf. He says meat loaf was already taken, so he chose that instead.

When Nick came out of the bathroom he was really freaking me out. He kept telling stories about how he used Graceland as his own personal toilet, and how he had used Elvis' daughter as his own personal toilet, and how Olive Loaf had just used him as his own personal toilet, and right hand. It was pretty disgusting, and shocking. Then Nick asked me how my Gonads were feeling, and right when he said, "Well I will just take a listen", I hit the door. After I hit his face around 34 or 35 times.



3 People Wish They Were As Awesome As Leon!
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