Dr. Rich and the Leon
2004-07-09 | 9:16 a.m.
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So I was hanging with my boy Richard yesterday. He said he had to do some research for a film role where he plays a doctor and he wondered if I could help him out. I said yes because I am a nice guy, and then it all began. First he said that since I was a strapping young lad that was probably physically active that I needed to have a hernia test. It was the first time that I have had a hernia test in this way. I was used to the doctor saying, �Turn your head and cough�, but instead he said, �Grab your ankles and cough�. After I experienced a little bit, and boy do I mean a little bit, of that exam I decided that it was unacceptable. I told Rich that he had to find my hernia the old fashioned way, by searching my scrotum. He then got a screwdriver and some duct tape and got to work. I now know that I don�t have two things, number one is that I don�t have a hernia. And number two is that I have no top layer of skin between my hips and kneecaps. There is nothing like a pink and sensitive private area to give a man an outlook on life. After the uncomfortable feeling of the hernia exam was over he made me stand in his office with my hands out and my form in front of him. He said that to understand the human body he had to observe it in a natural and perfect state. I didn�t mind because I knew that he would not find a more perfect state of the human body than one Leon McPhelps. Oh Yeah. It wasn�t as odd as I thought, he only sat and stared for about 5 hours, and then he went into his closet and got a Gerbil. I got the hell out of there. What kind of a sicko do you think I am? It was still pretty sweet. Kind of.
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