First things first Matty came and picked me up on Friday afternoon in his new totally adorable Beetle convertible. It was glorious, and then we were off to the nearest wilderness that just so happened to be located next to the mall. It was awesome. We started by cooking footlongs in the fire but I could tell it was making Matt uncomfortable to see me handling those wieners. We decided to eat some sausages instead.

Then, since I am so obviously a drug addict, we decided it was time to get totally high. I got the huge joint out of my bag and Matt and I smoked for what seemed like hours. He said it was too bad he didn�t bring his device for smoking marijuana, which he referred to as �Bongiffer�. He told me of the broken dreams he had including the one where Ben Affleck left his life of Alcoholism and erotic dancers for a more quiet life with Matt in their love nest in the woods of Vermont. I then branded the fat rolls on his sides with a burning stick and told him to wake up and smell the scorched fat. He accepted my offer.

Then I went into detail about how I know that I have a gorgeous body but spend every night alone and wondering if that one certain person, that one perfect person will ever be with me. Since there is no such thing as Leon with breasts I doubt that I ever will find that perfect person. I then looked over and Matt was asleep so I gave him the honor of being the 4th person that I have sodomized with a stick�.. I swear I was using a stick. He awoke soon after but luckily I had my pants zipped up in time�.. I mean that luckily I had thrown away the stick in time. Seriously, but anyway a bit later he started in on his bongos. Then the sounds of sirens interrupted our fun.

The police gave us a ride home and Matt said he would call. I think he will after the soreness wears off. It was a pretty sweet weekend.