Ok, so I was visiting Japan on my vacation, or as I like to call it, well Japan I guess. Anyway I was over there and I wasn�t used to being the biggest guy around, all five feet of me you know. And let me just say that I am not referring to height either. Anyway, I was walking down the street trying not to look lost and also looking to locate a local Whorehouse to see if the stereotype is true. You know what I am talking about, I was in Japan, why not see if I actually could make love to more that 50 women in one day. I must admit, it was hard�. Really hard when we got into the Buddhist sex position of the Underdoggy in which Leon is standing on his head, and 4 Japanese peasant women simultaneously �.. It�s not important.

Anyway, after my trip to the whorehouse and quick visit with Mom, I was off to travel the city and look cool and get lots of tail. As I was walking up a street I was suddenly noticed. To my dismay Sarah Michelle Gellar of Buffy fame runs up to me and starts yelling about how I wanted to have sex with Freddie Prinze Jr. so bad that my anus could taste it. Or maybe I was yelling that, I don�t really know I was tanked on the stuff they were serving at the whorehouse. It was some kind of wine that doubled as drain cleaner and super glue to hold all of those fishnet stockings together.

While I was in my rant about how I had imagined Freddie�s balls would look and feel Sarah reached into her purse as so many other women had done in past occurrences that I quickly jumped into the defensive position to avoid the pepper spray I expected so quickly. She was just reaching for an ink pen because she desired Leon�s autograph so much. She was star struck, really she was. She was asking for my autograph, it wasn�t the other way around I swear. After I signed for her and put my hotel room and phone number down she was on her way to God knows where as soon as the photographerjumped out of the bushes and snapped a photo of her being all star struck. Luckily I had an awesome pose on so I look fabulous anyway. I do know that I was still buzzing and looking for an even better time than Mom�s co-workers had just showed me.

I awoke in a pool of my own urine covered in Gummy Bears holding Bear Claws in each hand. 2 more hours out in the cold and I would have been the next flavor of Ben and Jerry�s ice cream, Luscious Leon, but luckily enough I awoke from my stupor and hobbled home. I will never experiment in Japanese household products again. And I will never neglect my fans again. I promise.